-“How could you do that? How could you lie to me? You are a woman with no principles. You.. you have no value at all. You are nothing… You are nothing, but a whore. You have no God above!” he yelled at her.
-“Please, honey, just listen to me. Try to understand me, just please try and put yourself in my place. Just look at me and listen…Please!!”
-“I can’t even look at you. You don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve me. At all. I’m so much more than you could ever be!”
-“I only lied to you because I was afraid of losing you again. I was afraid that you would get disappointed and walk away… and you have every right to do so. But don’t you believe that I was not ashamed of my actions. I wished the skies would fall on me so I could just disappear. I was disappointed in you… but mostly for myself. I really felt like literally nothing. I was empty. I was on the floor and couldn’t get back up on my feet. I was lost.
“But now… now I’m nowhere near that!! I’m up on my feet. Up and running. I could never do that again. Not to you, but to myself. Please, just forgive my foolishness and my mistake.”
-“There is no way I can forgive this. That’s it. We end it here. I don’t want you anymore. How could I? A woman like you…”, and looks down in disgust. “I couldn’t build a relationship with you. You don’t deserve me.”
-“You don’t deserve it…
You don’t deserve me…
You have no value in my eyes. ”
He wanted to leave, but he didn’t. Instead, he just showered and got into bed. Naively, she hoped that she still has a chance in enlightening his mind and make it up to him. But he just ignored her all night. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to understand. He didn’t want to forgive. He just repeated all over again that she is not worth it, that nobody will accept and like her, that she has no value at all.
She just cried, and wept and said how sorry she was. But all her sincere tears and words were not even listened to. He disrespected her and treated her unfairly.
Girl, now let me tell you something, and I hope you get it too! Never, but never ever let anybody talk to you like that again! Never. Do you hear me?! Nobody can define your value but yourself! Nobody will disrespect you, only if you let them to. It all depends on your attitude, on how you handle challenges, mistakes, and everything that life throws at you.
Sometimes, if you forgive way too many times, and you don’t change anything at all, not even your attitude towards the thing you find the “utmostly bad”, they will get used to you always forgiving, will take you for granted and won’t feel the need to change anything. Only because you let them to, and you get into situations like this…where he yells at you, says all the nasty things, disrespects you, looks down on you and makes you doubt yourself. Love can make you do such things, but never ever let your guard down, because in the end you will get disrespected. You value more than that!
Okay. I got that you made a mistake, and you messed it up. But who doesn’t? All of us do. Maybe you did it once, or twice or hundredth times, but you can always change it. You can always say “STOP!” and you did! You have been through hell and back. You have felt worthless, ashamed, discouraged but rose above all of them. Don’t dwell on the past, don’t sit on your mistakes. Move on and learn from it.
Don’t let any men or anybody else say to you who you are. You know yourself better than they do. You are definitely not a whore, or anything similar. Your value won’t be set by a mistake you made in the past. Your present actions and behaviour define you and your value. You rose above it, you have overcome your insecurities, you have learnt from your mistakes, you are so much stronger now.
And who the hell is he anyway? A cheater, a talker- not a doer, he lied to you, he betrayed your trust… not once or twice but a million times. He broke his promises more times than people who pronounced my name incorrectly. He kissed a girl while he said that he loves you, and wants you back. He texted the same girl saying that he misses her, and wishes she could be in bed with her, cuddling and kissing. He called her princess, beautiful and all the nicknames on earth.
Let me ask you a question… How could you say to somebody that you love them and want them back but go kiss another person at the same time? Is that love? That’s hypocrisy.
Wake up, girl! This boy is just playing around, both with you, your mind and other girls! That boy is a player, not a keeper.